When Things Fall Apart: Finding a way to face a life-changing crisis in our lives
In this programme, Jane Negrych and Tony Bates explore the question: how do we survive and grow through moments of profound difficulty when our lives are turned upside down?
When something happens that threatens everything we have believed in and that made life worth living, when we cannot see a clear path in front of us.
Our crisis, whether our own or that of someone we love, can be very isolating and oppressive. We can feel powerless in the face of what is happening and find it impossible to sustain hope.
And yet this new terrain of uncertainty and struggle is where life has taken us, whether abruptly or gradually over many years. It is the ground we now stand upon, the only ‘real’ place where we can experience being alive. The challenge is to make enough sense of what is happening to allow us to engage with it rather than deny and resist it. We need a new map for our lives to carry us across the treacherous terrain we find ourselves on.
Over six sessions (four in-person at the sanctuary, two online), Tony and Jane will lead participants in facing challenges that have been provoked by suffering in their lives, to connect with themselves and others in a new way, and find an inner strength and sense of purpose that gives meaning to their lives.
Topics covered in this course of six sessions will include:
- Identifying what is keeping us from facing what seems terrifying
- Discovering what may be holding us back and keeping us stuck,
- Creating conditions and opening up possibilities of being in the world in a new way that enables me to face what I have to face.
- Dealing with the sense of isolation and despair that prolonged suffering can induce.
- Building a personal ‘recovery blueprint ‘ – so that we have ‘flotation’ strategies to carry us through tough times.
- Rebuilding lost connections with life through art, music, nature and relationships,
- Reclaiming a positive experience of being alive in the face of all that is happening to me?
- Discovering that facing what we find most challenging is how we grow.
Additional notes
There is a Buddhist parable known as the Sutra of the Arrows. The sutra explains that in life, all beings are hit by the arrow of inevitable pain. Each of us will encounter certain hardships: the death of a loved one, a serious illness, job loss, suffering at the hands of others, or enduring a tragedy. This is part of the human experience.
However, the sutra cautions us to be mindful of the second arrow. This refers to our reaction to what happens, which can often exacerbate the situation. We may resist accepting what is occurring, blaming or shaming ourselves for what has transpired, or withdraw fearfully from whatever is happening because it feels overwhelming.
The second arrow adds to the initial suffering. We may react to the shock of what has happened by shutting out what feels too hard to process. We may numb our pain, but in the process, become lost and isolated in ourselves. We may find it hard to connect with others, or perhaps no one is present to us in a way we need them to be. So we go through the motions of living a life that no longer has meaning for us.
If, however, we can face the first arrow through awareness and care, and with the proper supports, we can avoid, or at the very least minimise, the effects of the second arrow.
Thursday 13th November 2025 (11am-4pm) Onsite
Thursday 27th November 2025 (7pm-9.30pm) Online
Thursday 11th December 2025 (11am-4pm) Onsite
Thursday 22nd January 2026 (11am-4pm) Onsite
Thursday 5th February 2026 (7pm-9.30pm) Online
Thursday 26th February 2026 (11am-4pm) Onsite
